Last week Chick Lit novelist Milly Johnson (author of The Yorkshire Pudding Club, The Birds & The Bees, A Spring Affair and A Summer Fling) graced out TV screens as she took part in Channel Four’s fantastic cookery programme Come Dine With Me when it was set in Barnsley. I really enjoyed watching her, she seems so lovely, and whilst watching the show I hit upon an idea: would Milly like to write us an article all about her experience. Thankfully, she agreed, and here it is for you to read. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Please note, though, that Milly does mention who wins the show so be warned!
The one thing I said I would never do was a reality TV show. You have absolutely no control over the editing and as for the idea of watching myself on screen - yeurch! So when a friend received a circular asking for contestants from Barnsley to apply to be on Come Dine With Me, I had no hesitation in saying ‘nope’ when she suggested I try for it. I do love to cook and with viewing figures of 1.4-1.8 million people per night, it was certainly worth considering the PR possibilities – then again, I could wreck my career in one fell swoop! But sometimes, you just need an adventure in life – so I filled in the application form and decided that if I was meant to be on, then fate would see to it that I was. I submitted 2 menus, as requested (just in case someone else duplicated a dish) and received a telephone call to say that two people from ITV would be arriving to look around my house, film both it and me and report back to Channel 4. I had to make an omelette whilst talking to prove I could multi-task. That was no sweat – with two growing boys in the house I’m usually cooking, nagging at them and the dog AND mopping the floor at the same time! I couldn’t believe it when I got the call to say I was one of the lucky five out of hundreds of applicants – and would be filming in ten days time.
A military operation was then in force. I scrubbed the house from top to bottom (and moved all my smalls in case of snooping guests!) I did a dummy run of my menu for friends – which went perfectly (always a bad sign – because a dress rehearsal is supposed to go slightly wrong) and went mad in Meadowhall shopping for new clothes and heart-shaped jewellery. I didn’t think I had a chance of winning and have no real competitive spirit but I was determined to enjoy myself and ham up my comedy-romantic novelist status by having a ‘Hearty Party’.
You have no idea what an exhausting week it is. On the first day I was filmed walking around town in various places. Then it was on to a nearby hotel where I opened up my menu and they filmed my initial reaction to it and who I thought my first host was. Home for a couple of hours then back out at 6.30pm. I had to sit in the taxi for an hour whilst my fellow diners went into the first house one by one and were filmed. I was last in and no, we really didn’t know whose house we were going to, where it was or had any knowledge of who else would be there.
It’s very difficult to act any other than who you are. There is a director present, an assistant, a sound man and a camera man – and you very quickly forget they are there. There are very few interruptions to the actual eating of the meal. The first night – with the only other lady there Verene, a hairdresser – was a lovely jolly affair with fabulous food. The after dinner entertainment was a food quiz and the forfeit for getting a question wrong was to eat a dried bug – I got major street cred points from my sons for eating a very crunchy cricket. (Afterwards my son asked ‘Are you going on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here?… because there are loads of people on there no one has ever heard of!) I got home at 3am in the morning.
The next day’s menu reveal said that we needed to bring our swimwear to ‘Party Paul’s evening – Oh God! Stripping off is bad enough in front of strangers, but in front of the hunky film crew as well?? Not a chance. However, who wants to be a party pooper? I’d signed up for this and was determined to go for it. Verene and I said we would so long as we had some privacy getting in and out of Paul’s hot tub. It was a freezing November night and sitting outside in a big warm bath was an odd but rather nice experience – especially with a glass of champagne in hand.
The next night was at drag artiste Christian’s house – The Queens. His entertainment was for Verene and myself to dress up Paul and Phil as drag queens. Phil hated it and alas Christian’s less than gourmet food failed to live up to Phil’s high expectations. It might not have looked brilliant but I thought it was super-tasty. And bless – he’d made sprouts especially for me because I love them. There were a few niggles in the group by now. Phil’s passion for matching food and wine was getting on some nerves and personalities were clashing. I was determined on my night to try and bring that lovely atmosphere of night one back.
My day started early – being filmed at the Florist at 8.45 picking up my gorgeous flowers. Then it was back home to start cooking – and shortbread biscuits which I’ve been baking since I was a child went wrong because I forgot my egg!!! The day went in a blur. I had about ten minutes to get ready before my guest arrived. I greeted my guests with Champagne Bellinis and the atmosphere was lovely (despite a panic when the loo seat fell off five minutes before the first doorbell went). It was a very happy evening. My after dinner entertainment was indoor fireworks, which I knew would be rubbish but thought everyone would have a laugh. And they did. Everyone was mellow around my table, I was dishing out second helpings (always a good sign), we laughed loads then when filming was over, the crew scoffed the pickings and we sat around drinking coffee till the wee small hours until the taxis arrived.
Phil’s evening was a formal affair. He had a huge house at the other side of town and was a serious cook. He greeted me with my first taste ever of Prosecco – which I’ve since preferred to champagne. His red pepper soup was divine and I don’t like lamb but he converted me with his Barnsley Chop. It’s a shame you didn’t see us prancing around in wigs – I had a very fetching blonde Vera Duckworth one. And Phil’s casino entertainment wasn’t shown either – which was a shame. Alas the evening felt quite flat. We didn’t realise until later that Phil’s daughter was going away to Australia that day and he was very down about it.
We really didn’t know who had won until Phil was given the dome with all the fan of money underneath it and the winners scroll. That look of total gobsmackedness was entirely genuine when I found out that I’d won. I was delighted when the shock had worn off. And lots of people have said I was mad to give half of the money away, but the thrill of being part of it all really and truly was the big prize for me. We’d spoken about the charities we supported all week and do active fund-raisers for. I couldn’t have walked away with the money – it was ‘happy money’ and meant to be shared. So five charities got £100 each (mine is Haworthcatrescue.org), the kids got an Xbox, the rest went on mum and dad’s golden wedding party the week after. My bezzy friend and I had a Domino’s pizza night and I introduced her to Prosecco! I had more fun spending that money than anything.
A year on and I have a new set of friends. I keep in touch with them all: Paul comes for coffee, Verene and Christian and I talk lots and we have all met up since and had meals out. V brought round a present for me last week – a Come Dine With Me CD of music – and drew a rather large pair of norks on it! Behind the severe cut of the editing, Phil is an absolute gent and was wonderful to me when midweek I got very upset about something. He might be seen to be banging on about wines a bit but he’s passionate about them. Alas none of us could appreciate his palette – I only wish I could. He’s a gentle family man and was first on the phone when my new book came out to ask how he could help promote it on his Barnsley news website. Paul runs a vehicle recovery service and was a true knight when I broke down and needed some car-help. He’s also the funniest man in the universe. It was a wonderful experience and I was terrified of seeing myself on the TV (2 stone heavier than I am now). Tell you what girls, I’ve had more fan-mail praising my ‘curves’ and even a few offers of dates (though I suspect it’s ‘Ron and Reg’ they wish to take out). What a bonus shocker that was.
Watching it all on TV brought back such happy memories of what a ‘Really Really’ (in Paul’s words) fabulous week we had. We laughed so much and when it ended we were lost. The viewing figures have gone up with each series – we commanded 2.2 million per night – and has brought me some wonderful new readers. The big question is: Would I do it all again? Oh yes – and tomorrow if they asked!
Thanks Milly and congratulations, you thoroughly deserved to win!
Chick Lit Classics is a regular feature on Chick Lit Reviews where we highlight the books we feel are classics of the chick lit genre. Feel free to discuss our choices in the comments section!
read A Season to Remember and want to know more about Andie, Jin and co., then do pick up a copy of Anyone But Him!
