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Archive for the ‘Author Article’ Category

LBD Week: Author Guest Post - A. M. Goldsher

Posted on Thursday, December 9th, 2010 by Chloe

As part of our Little Black Dress week, we’ve been lucky enough to have some wonderful guest posts from some of their authors written just for us. Now comes the turn of A. M. Goldsher whose latest 2010 release No Ordinary Girl was loved by me, so here is the post!

“ME ‘N’ L.B.D by Alan Goldsher.

The whole A.M. Goldsher/Little Black Dress Books thing was an accident. A happy accident, granted, but an accident nonetheless.

The True Naomi Story, my first title for L.B.D., began its life not as a chicklit book, but rather as a dude novel called Jam. Soon after it hit bookstores, a former literary agent of mine suggested I rewrite it from the perspective of a woman. Turned out the protagonist was more interesting as a girl, and L.B.D., out of the kindness of their hearts, offered me a three-book deal, with the proviso that they publish the books under the gender-nonspecific pseudonym of A.M. Goldsher. (No Ordinary Girl, my latest for L.B.D., was released under A.M. rather than Alan, but as you can see, I’ve been outed as a man, possibly because the superhero battles throughout were pretty dude-like, and some intrepid reader would’ve probably figured it out anyhow.)

I’ve now written four books for L.B.D., and look forward to more, in part because my awesome former editor Cat Cobain and my equally awesome current editor Claire Baldwin have been nothing but supportive and sweet. Since book one, they’ve let me be as creative and as weird as I’ve wanted, and I think that’s enabled me to write freely, without ever having to worry that a scene in which, say, my heroine throws her former lover 50 meters in the air, into the middle of Lake Michigan will be questioned. Many editors like to have their fingerprints all over their books, but L.B.D. just wants you to write the best book possible. It’s not about ego, it’s about quality, and that’s not always the case in today’s publishing world. All of which makes me the luckiest dude-chicklit writer on the planet.”

Thanks so much Alan!

Posted in Author Article, Little Black Dress | No Comments »

Author Article: Deborah Wright

Posted on Tuesday, November 16th, 2010 by Chloe

Deborah Wright’s latest book Swimming With Dolphins has just been released, and I absolutely loved it - it’s the perfect book to read to escape these cold winter evenings, and such an enjoyable story! Deborah kindly said she would write us an author article about her new book, so here it is! Enjoy, and our thanks go to Deborah for taking the time to write this for us!

“My latest book, ‘Swimming With Dolphins’ was originally called ‘Ten Things to Do Before I live’. The novel is about a workaholic called Julia who gets made redundant from her city job during the credit crunch. Since she has spent her twenties being married to her job and trapped in an office, she decides to the last of her money to travel the world, have adventures and do all the things she’s always longed to do.

I love travelling – learning new languages, seeing new places, meeting new people. Some of Julia’s adventures are based on real experiences. For example, I went to Japan 2 years ago with Kate Williams, a fellow writer and dear friend, and so many of Julia’s adventures in Tokoyo were based on our trip – from eating Green Tea Haagen Dazs ice cream to visiting Mount Fuji to walking through Shinjuku’s red light district and looking up into a hotel room where I spotted two Japanese businessmen fondling plastic dolls! I have also visited Venice, which had to go in the book for its sheer beauty, and the unfortunate love affair she has with an Italian is an exaggerated fictionalisation of something I suffered. Other parts of the book are based on places I’d love to go to, so the research was hugely enjoyable. When she goes to Sicily and climbs Mt Etna, I watched videos on youtube of Etna erupting, spraying glorious red showers into the sky. The crazy Las Vegas chapter was great fun to write, but it’s another place I’ve not yet been to – so I had to call up my brother and ask him for anecdotes.

When I handed in the book to my editor, she felt it needed a stronger title. We brainstormed for months – until she had a brilliant flash of inspiration and thought up ‘Swimming With Dolphins’. This experience is the finale adventure in the book. It’s also deeply romantic, with Julia finding fulfilment in her love life on the island of Kauai. Swimming with dolphins is something I’ve always longed to do – and I felt so excited writing about it that it has made me even more hungry to make this dream a reality .”

Thanks so much, Deborah!

Posted in Author Article | 1 Comment »

Author Article: Milly Johnson on Come Dine With Me!

Posted on Thursday, October 28th, 2010 by Leah

Last week Chick Lit novelist Milly Johnson (author of The Yorkshire Pudding Club, The Birds & The Bees, A Spring Affair and A Summer Fling) graced out TV screens as she took part in Channel Four’s fantastic cookery programme Come Dine With Me when it was set in Barnsley. I really enjoyed watching her, she seems so lovely, and whilst watching the show I hit upon an idea: would Milly like to write us an article all about her experience. Thankfully, she agreed, and here it is for you to read. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Please note, though, that Milly does mention who wins the show so be warned!

The one thing I said I would never do was a reality TV show. You have absolutely no control over the editing and as for the idea of watching myself on screen - yeurch! So when a friend received a circular asking for contestants from Barnsley to apply to be on Come Dine With Me, I had no hesitation in saying ‘nope’ when she suggested I try for it. I do love to cook and with viewing figures of 1.4-1.8 million people per night, it was certainly worth considering the PR possibilities – then again, I could wreck my career in one fell swoop! But sometimes, you just need an adventure in life – so I filled in the application form and decided that if I was meant to be on, then fate would see to it that I was. I submitted 2 menus, as requested (just in case someone else duplicated a dish) and received a telephone call to say that two people from ITV would be arriving to look around my house, film both it and me and report back to Channel 4. I had to make an omelette whilst talking to prove I could multi-task. That was no sweat – with two growing boys in the house I’m usually cooking, nagging at them and the dog AND mopping the floor at the same time! I couldn’t believe it when I got the call to say I was one of the lucky five out of hundreds of applicants – and would be filming in ten days time.

A military operation was then in force. I scrubbed the house from top to bottom (and moved all my smalls in case of snooping guests!) I did a dummy run of my menu for friends – which went perfectly (always a bad sign – because a dress rehearsal is supposed to go slightly wrong) and went mad in Meadowhall shopping for new clothes and heart-shaped jewellery. I didn’t think I had a chance of winning and have no real competitive spirit but I was determined to enjoy myself and ham up my comedy-romantic novelist status by having a ‘Hearty Party’.

You have no idea what an exhausting week it is. On the first day I was filmed walking around town in various places. Then it was on to a nearby hotel where I opened up my menu and they filmed my initial reaction to it and who I thought my first host was. Home for a couple of hours then back out at 6.30pm. I had to sit in the taxi for an hour whilst my fellow diners went into the first house one by one and were filmed. I was last in and no, we really didn’t know whose house we were going to, where it was or had any knowledge of who else would be there.

It’s very difficult to act any other than who you are. There is a director present, an assistant, a sound man and a camera man – and you very quickly forget they are there. There are very few interruptions to the actual eating of the meal. The first night – with the only other lady there Verene, a hairdresser – was a lovely jolly affair with fabulous food. The after dinner entertainment was a food quiz and the forfeit for getting a question wrong was to eat a dried bug – I got major street cred points from my sons for eating a very crunchy cricket. (Afterwards my son asked ‘Are you going on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here?… because there are loads of people on there no one has ever heard of!) I got home at 3am in the morning.

The next day’s menu reveal said that we needed to bring our swimwear to ‘Party Paul’s evening – Oh God! Stripping off is bad enough in front of strangers, but in front of the hunky film crew as well?? Not a chance. However, who wants to be a party pooper? I’d signed up for this and was determined to go for it. Verene and I said we would so long as we had some privacy getting in and out of Paul’s hot tub. It was a freezing November night and sitting outside in a big warm bath was an odd but rather nice experience – especially with a glass of champagne in hand.

The next night was at drag artiste Christian’s house – The Queens. His entertainment was for Verene and myself to dress up Paul and Phil as drag queens. Phil hated it and alas Christian’s less than gourmet food failed to live up to Phil’s high expectations. It might not have looked brilliant but I thought it was super-tasty. And bless – he’d made sprouts especially for me because I love them. There were a few niggles in the group by now. Phil’s passion for matching food and wine was getting on some nerves and personalities were clashing. I was determined on my night to try and bring that lovely atmosphere of night one back.

My day started early – being filmed at the Florist at 8.45 picking up my gorgeous flowers. Then it was back home to start cooking – and shortbread biscuits which I’ve been baking since I was a child went wrong because I forgot my egg!!! The day went in a blur. I had about ten minutes to get ready before my guest arrived. I greeted my guests with Champagne Bellinis and the atmosphere was lovely (despite a panic when the loo seat fell off five minutes before the first doorbell went). It was a very happy evening. My after dinner entertainment was indoor fireworks, which I knew would be rubbish but thought everyone would have a laugh. And they did. Everyone was mellow around my table, I was dishing out second helpings (always a good sign), we laughed loads then when filming was over, the crew scoffed the pickings and we sat around drinking coffee till the wee small hours until the taxis arrived.

Phil’s evening was a formal affair. He had a huge house at the other side of town and was a serious cook. He greeted me with my first taste ever of Prosecco – which I’ve since preferred to champagne. His red pepper soup was divine and I don’t like lamb but he converted me with his Barnsley Chop. It’s a shame you didn’t see us prancing around in wigs – I had a very fetching blonde Vera Duckworth one. And Phil’s casino entertainment wasn’t shown either – which was a shame. Alas the evening felt quite flat. We didn’t realise until later that Phil’s daughter was going away to Australia that day and he was very down about it.

We really didn’t know who had won until Phil was given the dome with all the fan of money underneath it and the winners scroll. That look of total gobsmackedness was entirely genuine when I found out that I’d won. I was delighted when the shock had worn off. And lots of people have said I was mad to give half of the money away, but the thrill of being part of it all really and truly was the big prize for me. We’d spoken about the charities we supported all week and do active fund-raisers for. I couldn’t have walked away with the money – it was ‘happy money’ and meant to be shared. So five charities got £100 each (mine is Haworthcatrescue.org), the kids got an Xbox, the rest went on mum and dad’s golden wedding party the week after. My bezzy friend and I had a Domino’s pizza night and I introduced her to Prosecco! I had more fun spending that money than anything.

A year on and I have a new set of friends. I keep in touch with them all: Paul comes for coffee, Verene and Christian and I talk lots and we have all met up since and had meals out. V brought round a present for me last week – a Come Dine With Me CD of music – and drew a rather large pair of norks on it! Behind the severe cut of the editing, Phil is an absolute gent and was wonderful to me when midweek I got very upset about something. He might be seen to be banging on about wines a bit but he’s passionate about them. Alas none of us could appreciate his palette – I only wish I could. He’s a gentle family man and was first on the phone when my new book came out to ask how he could help promote it on his Barnsley news website. Paul runs a vehicle recovery service and was a true knight when I broke down and needed some car-help. He’s also the funniest man in the universe. It was a wonderful experience and I was terrified of seeing myself on the TV (2 stone heavier than I am now). Tell you what girls, I’ve had more fan-mail praising my ‘curves’ and even a few offers of dates (though I suspect it’s ‘Ron and Reg’ they wish to take out). What a bonus shocker that was.

Watching it all on TV brought back such happy memories of what a ‘Really Really’ (in Paul’s words) fabulous week we had. We laughed so much and when it ended we were lost. The viewing figures have gone up with each series – we commanded 2.2 million per night – and has brought me some wonderful new readers. The big question is: Would I do it all again? Oh yes – and tomorrow if they asked!

Thanks Milly and congratulations, you thoroughly deserved to win!

Posted in Author Article | 4 Comments »

Author Guest Post: Samantha Carbon

Posted on Thursday, October 7th, 2010 by Leah

Samantha Carbon’s debut novel All That Glitters was released in June and Samantha has written us an Author Article on why she decided to go down the self-publishing route rather than going through the usual channels of waiting for an official publisher to put in an offer. It’s a great insight into the world of self-publishing, enjoy!

I decided to go down the self publishing route to avoid being rejected. By self publishing I was self helping. At the start of writing All That Glitters it felt like the beginning of a counselling session. I knew I would have to commit., but the excitement at the beginning took over me. My head was full of ideas and scenarios, but I didn’t know how to explore and put them onto paper. As I began to write, my thoughts were becoming less heavy and the words began to flow and it was half way through writing the manuscript I decided there is no way, I will send my work to a literary agency for it to be potentially rejected. I had read all the horror stories, writers not hearing back from publishers, writers being charged to read their manuscripts. The thought of an office junior reading my manuscript, judging me made my decision to self publish easy.

The amount of time and effort I invested in writing All That Glitters was too precious. The knowledge my manuscript would potentially collect dust in a room with other unread manuscripts would keep me awake at night. I wasn’t going to let this happen.

I allocated some cash and worked towards All That Glitters going into print in time for my 40th birthday. I have had no regrets. The communication between myself and Authorhouse has been at all times professional. Words cant describe the feeling I felt, when I held my book in print the first time.

I couldn’t believe how professional my book looked. It was well worth the investment. Some may say, why not take the chance in sending off to literary agents, to save me the bother of having to self promote. I did my research on the internet and realised there are loads of writers out there trying to be the next J K Rowling. I am totally in control of how well my book performs. The feedback has been positive. For me, my personal achievement was getting my book out there. The words on the paper are worth reading.

Working with a lot of smart people, many have said they would like to write a book. I’m not sure what is stopping them. Time, discipline and patience were key factors. I had a lot of time back in 2004 when I began All That Glitters and I procrastinated along with every other writer. If writing is something one enjoys doing, then one finds the time. As previous mentioned, I was at the start of a long therapy session, my session is now complete. So, to all you buddy writers, take the self publishing route, I did and I’m totally healed.

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American Saturdays Author Article: Glenn Plaskin

Posted on Saturday, October 2nd, 2010 by Danielle

In my recent review of Glenn Plaskin’s Katie Up and Down the Hall I mentioned that he’d been a dog lover his entire life, but waited until he was out on his own before adding a canine companion to his already full schedule. Because of this, as well as the fact he typically writes about celebrities, I was curious to find out why exactly he decided to write a book focused around his dog Katie. Glenn was gracious enough to indulge me and offered his response below, I’m positive you’ll love it and be that much more inticed to pick up his newest novel! Enjoy!

Although I’ve been writing books and articles for 30 years (since I was 12!, of course), mostly about celebrities and artists of great accomplishment-I’ve never, ever written anything at all about my own life-not until now. My new book, KATIE UP AND DOWN THE HALL, is all about how one dog had the power to turn five neighbors into a family. Katie, a blonde-haired cocker spaniel, is dignified, almost regal in demeanor, her canine antics including fashion modeling, using the TV’s remote control, sitting posture-perfect at the dining table (paws delicately around her food bowl), expertly eating corn on the cob, charming celebrities (Katharine Hepburn, Peter Jennings, Bette Midler, and Ivana Trump among them), and racing neighborhood kids up and down the hallway.

Not least important is her special affinity for the elderly, a group of eighty-to-ninety-year-old women (humorously eccentric neighbors) who become the recipients of Katie’s healing touch.

Needless to say, my dog ruled the eighty-foot, red-carpeted hallway in our Manhattan high-rise-the site of dog races, obedience-training sessions, Halloween parades, and a passageway to parties and late-night exchanges of confidences. With an uncanny instinct for responding to the needs of her pack, she merrily trots up and down her territory, pushing open doors with her paws, introducing us to the book’s main characters—Ryan, a little boy who had no Mom, his Dad, John, (who had no parents), our octogenarian neighbors down the hall, Pearl and Arthur, (who had never been able to have children), and me and my dog. What follows is a series of adventures spread out over 16 years covering everything from Hollywood high times to the terrors of 9/11.

Other than Katie’s master, the principal object of Katie’s love, of course, is Pearl, nicknamed “Granny,” who finds herself thriving in a new family-making dinner for everyone, babysitting, and planning holiday events, thus breaking her isolation and rekindling her interest in life.

In fact, much of the action is centered in Granny’s dining room—the family group gathering around her mahogany table to savor her uniquely homespun dishes, the recipes for which are included here as well. Her baking and cooking become expressions of caring and create a cozy atmosphere that glues the family together.

Still physically and mentally acute at 90, (and carrying her own grocery bags), the vivacious Pearl-a Bronx native with a love of travel, theater, gardening, and cooking-turns out to be a fountain of wisdom and practical advice to her neighbors, sharing her “pearls” to one and all.

Pearl becomes my rock, especially at a time when I have a serious accident, and later, when I becomes temporarily disabled. Barely able to move for months, it is Granny who nurses me back to health and inspires me to return to work. She becomes my muse, best friend, and trusted advisor, while I becomes the grandson she never had.

Writing this book was really cathartic, easier than anything I’ve ever done. Why? Because I didn’t have to do any research or interview anyone else! The story of what happened—the movie of our lives-was all in my head, and heart. I wrote it in five months, wanting it to be fluent and personal. I learned three lessons doing it: A family is anything you want it to be; Love Remains, even in the face of inevitable separation, loss, and death; and Open Your Door, a metaphor for opening your heart to your neighbors. After all, in your neighborhood, there’s always a dog that needs a walk, a child that needs a mentor, and a senior who needs a helping hand.

I hope you all enjoy the entire “tail” from beginning to end. And I invite you to visit my web site, www.katiebook.com, to watch the book trailer, which captures the essence of the story. After you’ve read the book, please feel free to contact me and share your thoughts and feelings about it.

–Glenn Plaskin

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Author Article: Chick Lit gets Serious by Nina Bell

Posted on Thursday, September 23rd, 2010 by Chloe

I recently had the pleasure of reviewing Nina Bell’s new title Lovers and Liars which covers the touch subject of domestic abuse, and is therefore a little different to the usual chick-lit subject you might expect from such a book. Nina has kindly offered to write us an article on the change in direction of chick lit, and so we present ‘Chick Lit Gets Serious’. Enjoy, and do let us know your opinions in the comments!

Chick Lit Gets Serious by Nina Bell:

“I recently heard a snatch of a Radio 4 literary programme, criticising Chick Lit because ‘it didn’t address the real issues in women’s lives.’ Hello? How can a genre that tackles alcoholism, anorexia, adultery, adoption and acne (and that’s just the ‘A’s) not address the real issues in women’s lives? Bridget Jones lifted the lid on young women’s drinking, but a decade on, Veronica Henry’s The Beach Hut, in spite of its pretty, summery cover, shows where that drinking can lead. Sam Baker’s The Stepmother’s Support Group, also packaged in pastels, was written after a deluge of heart-felt communications from struggling stepmothers. Blockbuster-style foil-blocked covers on Dorothy Koomson’s The Ice Cream Girls, Marian Keyes This Charming Man and my own Lovers & Liars (I hope!) conceal unflinching portrayals of physical and psychological abuse, all the more effectively conveyed via storytelling rather than in an information leaflet that will never be read. My daughter will be better equipped for life if she reads these books rather than any Booker-Shortlisted novel. Today’s Chick Lit has morphed from the search for The One to the search for yourself, tackling dark issues in a light, informative, enjoyable way.

And layers of research often go into these apparently frothy confections – while writing Lovers & Liars, my desk piled up with psychology books and interviews with experts in treating psychological abuse. My notebook is always thick with interviews: for my previous book, Sisters In Law, about how divorce impacts on wider family relationships, I talked to top divorce lawyers. And for The Inheritance, set in the world of horses, I immersed myself in the world of horses for two years, asking riders everything from obscure technical questions to whether they preferred jelly babies or Smarties.

The frivolity of chicklit makes it quite subversive - it’s a way of women talking to women about serious issues while no-one else notices. For example, the ‘sex and shopping’ novels of the 1980s and 90s were part of women beginning to earn –and spend - their own money and own their own sexuality. No wonder some people found them threatening.

I think the Radio 4 literati were probably referring to the classic ‘Cinderella’ chick-lit plot, where the storyline suggests that provided you are good, sweet, self-effacing and hard-working, your prince will rescue you. I think an evil witch - or, more probably, wizard - devised this myth to keep young girls in line (or in the kitchen), but few chicklit heroines are now just waiting to be rescued.

They’re getting on with their lives: if you think Chick Lit doesn’t connect with reality, then consider the way many other novels rarely feature children. Or animals. Or proper jobs. There’s a kind of ascetic unreality about an Iris Murdoch novel, for example. Chick lit heroines juggle careers, children, friends, colleagues, a boss, parents, even pets or horses. And that’s not easy – when I was writing The Inheritance, the need to make sure the horses were fed or transported to the right place was as demanding on the plot as it is in real life. And as for fictional babysitters….just don’t go there. Write like Iris Murdoch. It’s easier.

I once overheard a middle-aged man ask a young female book reviewer what ‘chick lit’ was. ‘If a book has a pink cover,’ she replied. ‘It’s chick lit, so you throw it away.’ I hope – for her sake - that when she has a real problem in her life, she stops, hand halfway to the wastepaper basket, and thinks ‘Maybe I should try this….’”

Thanks so much, Nina!

Posted in Author Article | 4 Comments »

Author Article: Jo Rees

Posted on Thursday, August 26th, 2010 by Chloe

After reading and review Jo Rees’ latest book Forbidden Pleasures, Jo offered to write us an author article based on her experiences of seeing people reading her books, and it makes for fun reading! Here it is, enjoy!

Beach Reading by Jo Rees

Every summer, we decamp – my husband and writing partner, Emlyn Rees, me and our three daughters – to our tumble down finca here in Mallorca. It’s seriously rustic - ‘camping with brick’ we call it - and totally different from our UK life, but we all love it.

In theory, the days should float by having long lunches under the trees and reading by the pool. In reality, I do lots of cleaning and trips to the supermarket and when we don’t have guests, Emlyn and I are always embarking on some new DIY odyssey. This year we’ve drained and painted the pool and started the huge task of sanding the shutters.

Occasionally though, the kids remind us that they’re on holiday and we jump in the car to take them to the beach.

I always marvel at how many families go for beach holidays here in Mallorca and seem to love the whole thing, because personally, I find beach trips really stressful. From the second we arrive, it’s carnage. Clothes are flung everywhere as the kids wrestle into their bikinis and I trot around after them squirting sun-cream and muttering about hats and sunglasses and armbands as they slither out of my grasp into the water.

Within seconds they’re back with a barrage of questions: Can I have my flippers/goggles/bucket/spade/towel? Can I have an ice-cream/drink/fishing net? Can we get a banana boat ride/slide-pedalo/sun-lounger? Will you look after my crab/shells/OMG what is that?

I settle each demand and think about how I might get comfy and finally open my book, but guess what? The towel-draggers are hungry and they want the picnic I’ve bought in the cool box. And thus begins the hell of making sandwiches. Thus called because I turn into a witch and everything I produce is full of sand.

But being hot and sweaty and covered in sticky melon juice is nothing compared to the private ego bashing that the beach trip involves at this time of year. Because everywhere you look, people are reading books and I can’t help but pathetically hope that one of them is reading my book.

But yesterday on the beach, I’m pleased to report that I had my first Forbidden Pleasures spot of the summer.

‘Six o’clock, six o’clock,’ I stage-whispered. ‘Don’t turn round.’ But of course, the whole family did.

‘High five, Mum,’ my eldest said, spotting my book jacket, but I can’t high five her, because I’m mid ham sandwich.

‘If you say anything, we’re leaving,’ warns Emlyn.

‘I won’t,’ I say, blushing.

I once asked a woman on the beach who was reading ‘We Are Family’ – one of the books Emlyn and I wrote together - whether she was enjoying it, and Emlyn was so embarrassed, he spent the rest of the day in the sea.

‘She looks like she’s enjoying it, though,’ I say.

‘She’s topless,’ the middle one says, peering closely at the girl.

‘So that rules out you taking a photo and putting it on Facebook,’ Emlyn says.

He knows me so well.

‘I could just say hello,’ I say.

‘You could,’ says the eldest. ‘But most authors don’t have blue feet.’

I look down. My feet are indeed covered in pool paint.

‘Don’t ruin the magic, eh love,’ Emlyn says, laughing, as the mayonnaise drops off the knife into my lap.

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Author Article: Wendy Holden

Posted on Thursday, August 19th, 2010 by Leah

We were contacted a while back and asked if we would like to read Wendy Holden’s latest book Gallery Girl. We were also offered the chance to chat to Wendy or get her to write us a guest post. Because of the hectic-ness of the past two weeks we settled on a guest post and here Wendy discusses her new book and tells us why she decided to base it around the ‘Cinderella’ fairy tale.

Gallery Girl is indeed a sort of Cinderella story in that the put-upon heroine eventually triumphs, and it contains some fabulously Ugly Sisters in the persons of ruthless gallery owner Angelica and competitive nympho art collector Fuchsia Klumpp. First and foremost, however, it’s a comedy.

The books I most like to write are behind-the-scenes looks at wealthy, glittering worlds, but they also have to be funny. It seems to me that there is innate humour in the very state of being glamorous, rich and famous, because it takes such effort to maintain the façade. Opportunities to come a cropper and reveal the gap between appearance and reality are rife. And it’s these gaps that we’re all most interested in.

So I am always looking for potential worlds to conquer in this respect, and contemporary art was a perfect one. There’s so much money and fame involved, and the actual artwork is frequently so hilarious. Earlier this year, at the international contemporary art fair the Venice Biennale, I stood in disbelief in front of some black rubber flags, a stuffed cat on top of an unfinished IKEA cabinet, some framed knickers and a ‘corpse’ face down in a swimming pool. All masterpieces, apparently.

So Gallery Girl was a great opportunity for me to give full expression to the fantastic comic potential of this sort of art, about which everyone has an opinion and which in my view is made all the funnier by the extraordinarily po-faced stance of most of its perpetrators and defenders.

Alice, my heroine, is a nice girl who likes proper paintings but nonetheless ends up as assistant in the OneSquared Gallery, a showcase of contemporary art craziness featuring heads made of frozen wee, gold-sprayed wheelchairs and hairy pebbles.

The possible characters seemed endless -– the nude model, the showman auctioneer, the publicity-milking, super-rich contemporary artist versus the talented but skint traditional portrait artist, to name but a few. I could see immediately the potential for the perfect glamorous comedy. The lust, loot and lunacy of the world of knickers nailed to chopping boards!

I had the background, too. I have always been interested in art, I used to work on an art magazine and I even had a flourishing career as a cartoonist once, drawing for Vogue and the Independent. Now I collect, although not on the Fuchsia scale! And the more I researched and wrote Gallery Girl, the more I itched to make a spoof contemporary art exhibition myself. It was a small step from this to adopting the persona of Zeb Spaw, the bigheaded bad-boy artist who is the villain of Gallery Girl, and creating an entire exhibition, angry_with_britain.

angry_with_britain pulls together a number of contemporary artworks in Zeb’s own inimitable style. ‘Fifteen Metres Of Fame’ is Spaw’s homage to Warhol; a fifteen-metre rope hung with pictures of celebrities mounted on cardboard (mostly from All Bran boxes). ‘Tripetych’ is three panels featuring blown-up images of offal. Sculptures include ‘Flash In The Pan’ – a gold-sprayed loo - ‘The Death of Rock and Roll’ and the harrowing ‘Iraq’. There’s also ‘Hunter Gatherer’ - shopping lists found abandoned in baskets in the local supermarket and framed in rows of four. ‘Stigmata’ – a questioning piece featuring gold-sprayed gardening gloves - and ‘Pants’, the inexpressible loneliness of the human condition as shown through a pair of large white Y-fronts.

All in all, writing Gallery Girl was certainly the most fun I’ve ever had working on a book, which I hope comes out in the novel! Gallery Girl’s available from every good bookshop and you can catch my/Zeb’s exhibition, angry_with_britain indefinitely on my website, www.wendyholden.net.

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Archive for the ‘Author Article’ Category

LBD Week: Author Guest Post - A. M. Goldsher

Author Article: Deborah Wright

Author Article: Milly Johnson on Come Dine With Me!

Author Guest Post: Samantha Carbon

American Saturdays Author Article: Glenn Plaskin

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