Tansy Harris is a terrible mother. The kind who forgets to pick her children up from school, the kind who drinks half a bottle of wine at lunch-time, the kind who comtemplates an affair with her son’s teacher. The very worst kind.

But then, Tansy’s life is not one she ever wanted. When she married Max, and agreed to have his children, it was on the proviso that it wouldn’t change them: they’d still do whatever they want, see the world, be free. But they have changed, and Tansy can’t cope. With a full-scale meltdown looming, something must be done, and Tansy decides the answer is India. It’s somewhere she and Max always planned to visit together, but this is a trip Tansy will take alone: to take stock, sort her head out, come back a better person.

India turns out to be nothing like Tansy imagined, and yet everything she hoped for. But when she visits an old backpacker friend who’s joined a cult in the south, Tansy lifts the lid on something terrifying and much, much bigger that her. And the moment she realises she’s in the wrong place at the wrong time…. is the moment it’s too late.

The Life You Want is Emily Barr’s eighth novel and the sequel to her first novel Backpack. Now I haven’t actually read Backpack because I just couldn’t get into it but I wanted to read The Life You Want so went ahead and read it anyway.

We pick up with Tansy a decade after Backpack and find out she’s married to Max and has two children Toby and Joe. In her opening sentence she tells us she thinks she’s having a breakdown. Not only that but she drinks a lot, forgets to pick up her children and contemplates an affair with her son’s teacher. To save herself she heads of to India by herself to help out Elly, an old friend. It seems, though, that Elly isn’t all she seemed….

Even though I found Tansy an incredibly irritating character, I loved the book. It wasn’t as good as The Sisterhood which was fabulous but it was a really enjoyable read. I loved the descriptions of Indian towns and what it’s like to travel in India and, I admit, it sounded nothing like I expected it to sound. Like Tansy when I imagine India I think of poor people begging on the streets the whole time. Emily didn’t describe it like that at all.

The book is written in first-person which was enjoyable because we got all of Tansy’s thoughts. While I say I found her irritating, at least she admitted she was a rubbish mother and wasn’t cut out to live in London forever with a steady job. It still didn’t stop me thinking she was selfish though for leaving her husband and children to go off to India.

She kept saying she wasn’t like her alcoholic mother but she was. I alternated between liking Tansy and wanting to slap her. She was selfish to leave her kids but I liked her honesty. She’s definitely an anti-heroine and is like Marmite - you’ll either love her or hate her.

As well as Tansy’s point-of-view we regularly read blog posts from a woman called Alexia who is adopting a child from India named Sasika. We follow her on her journey, through her blog posts, all the way - even when everything goes topsy-turvy. I would have liked a few more blog posts from Alexia because it was a great part of the story and helped, also, with the main plot of the story.

All of Emily Barr’s books seem to have a dark undercurrent - in The Sisterhood, Helen was so sure Elizabeth Greene was her sister and went to great lengths to ingratiate herself into Elizabeth’s life. The dark tone to this book was the CC centre. I figured out what was going on long before Tansy did but it was exciting to read about. The twist didn’t come until near the end though, which was disappointing as everything then had to be tied up quickly.

As I said, the ending seemed slightly rushed. Apart from that, I really enjoyed the book. I didn’t find it as much of a page-turner as The Sisterhood but it was another great read from Emily and I look forward to her next.

Rating: 4/5

Tags: emily barr

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